Here is a good example of that. When we speak of sin, Catholics distinguish between two types of sin, mortal and venial. This drives two groups of people crazy; those who think there is no such thing as sin, and those who say "sin is sin". The truth, as is often said though, lay in the middle.
What is the difference between mortal and venial sin? Mortal sin, according to the Catechism, "destroys charity in the heart of man by a grave violation of God's law; it turns man away from God." (p.1855). Venial sin, on the other hand, "allows charity to subsist, even though it offends and wounds it." (ibid). So, basically, mortal sin turns us away from God, and thus makes us unable to love God. Venial sin wounds our love for God, but does not turn it off; we can still love God after committing a venial sin.
How can we tell if we have committed a mortal sin versus a venial one?
Three conditions must be present for a sin to be mortal.
1) The object of the sin must be grave matter. This means that the sin must deal with something very serious like murder, adultery, theft, lying, dishonoring one's loved ones, or any of the other commandments of God.
2) It must be committed with full knowledge. This means that the sin is committed by someone who knows fully that what they are doing is indeed sinful. This does not necessarily mean one has to have been explicitly told that it is a sin, rather it means that they are aware in their own being, via the natural law, that it is wrong.
3) It must be committed with deliberate consent. It means the person committing the sin must clearly consent to doing so freely. External pressures can diminish a person's culpability and may turn what seems to be a serious mortal sin into a venial one.
If any of those three conditions are not present, the sin is a venial sin, and not a mortal one.
One may say that it seems to be a very high standard for one to commit a mortal sin and may conclude that therefore it is hard to commit one, and therefore, hard to lose the life of God, and lose eternal salvation.
Well, in the world today, I think otherwise. Think of how we routinely cheapen our value of human life with things like abortion, human trafficking, prostitution, just to name a few. Think how many marriages end in divorce because one or both parties violate their marriage vows. Think how easily we lie and steal from each other. Yet, at the same time, we know in our heart of hearts that when we do any of these things it is wrong, yet we do it anyway, and often. Therefore, I submit to you that it is rather fairly easy to commit a mortal sin these days, not hard. Unfortunately, many think the opposite. They know they do bad things, but do not think they are serious. In this, they are mistaken. If they do not recognize that in time, and do something about it, they may spend eternity apart from God.
So what can we do about mortal sin? We ourselves can do nothing. Once we sin mortally, no future act can take away the effect of that turning away. It stays there, and there is nothing we can do to fundamentally change our direction away from God. However, God can do something. He can restore our life through His Mercy, which is normally given in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession. The Divine Life in our soul, given to us by Baptism, is itself a gift from God. Therefore, to restore that life after a mortal sin has been committed, also requires an act of God. However, normally it will not be given without our consent, and so, first we must repent, and only then, can we receive the great Mercy of God.
OK, one says, mortal sin is very very serious, but it sounds like God can forgive even that, and wipe the effects of that sin away. If that is the case, then venial sin must not be very serious at all, one might conclude. Well, this is another misconception, I am afraid. The Catechism says in paragraph 1863, "Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin." So, we think committing "small" sins like gossip, yelling at someone who cuts us off in traffic, overeating, telling lewd jokes, excessive shopping, and others of the like, are not serious, we would be wise to change our thinking. If we keep doing these things, eventually our appetites and passions will come to rule us, and we will not be able to control them. We will desire more and more the temporary satisfaction those sins give us, and as a result, we will commit greater offenses. We will probably then not even realize when we have crossed over the threshold from venial to mortal sin. If we die after committing a mortal sin without repenting, we will be in hell forever.
Therefore, even though reception of the Sacrament of Reconciliation is not absolutely necessary for forgiveness of venial sins, one can see why the Church still strongly recommends going to Confession for those types of sins, as well.
The Church distinguishes between mortal and venial sins not to lessen the deadly reality of sin, but simply because it is true, and the Church speaks the Truth. The reality is some sins (mortal ones) separate us from God, while some (venial) weaken our relationship to Him, but do not separate us from Him. It is important in pastoral practice, spiritual direction, and counseling, that we know the difference, and apply the appropriate remedies. It is important that we ourselves know the difference lest we become too scrupulous in the cases of sins we think are mortal, but in reality are venial, or we become too lax, and think there is no sin, or that there is no such thing as mortal sin which can kill us.
This is the Year of Mercy. If we are to receive Mercy, we must first recognize the reality of sin, in the world, and in our own lives. May we seek the gifts of the Holy Spirit to make us aware of our sins, and give us the grace and strength to repent of them, and receive the great Mercy of God.
Joseph, while seemingly not a big sinner, was a sinner. Only Jesus and Mary were sinless. Yet, the Holy Family lived in peace because Joseph accepted that he was a sinner, sought the mercy of God in His life, and worked to keep his appetites and passions under control. May we do the same.
Joseph, solace of the wretched, pray for us.
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