Tough teachings: Same sex marriage

Today we will discuss the third of three difficult teachings of the Church that many find difficult to accept these days.  In the first post in this series, we discussed contraception.   In the second, we discussed abortion.  Today, we will discuss homosexuality and same sex marriage.

This is by far, I think, the most sensitive of the three.   I think a lot of people today can at least appreciate or understand why the Church condemns abortion, even if they do not agree with her.  With contraception, a lot of people do not understand why the Church condemns it, and may think she is just naïve or something along those lines.  I do not think, however, in general that people get mad, angry, or militant towards her for this teaching. 
However, when it comes to this difficult teaching regarding marriage, many not only disagree with the Church, but turn violent towards her because of it.   In the opinion of this blog, there is truly a war going on these days regarding marriage.  Those who support traditional marriage, and therefore, do not approve of same sex "marriage", are often classified as hateful bigots, or even evil. 
Sister Lucia, one of the three children who saw Our Lady of Fatima (one of the approved apparitions of Our Lady) said this shortly before her death in 2005:

The final battle between the Lord and the reign of Satan will be about marriage and the family. Don’t be afraid, because anyone who operates for the sanctity of marriage and the family will always be contended and opposed in every way, because this is the decisive issue.  However, Our Lady has already crushed its head.

Other predictions at Fatima have come true, so there is good reason to believe this has or will come true, as well.

Despite this prediction of ultimate victory, right now, it does not seem the war is going the way of those who support traditional marriage.  More and more states are approving of "same sex marriage".  In general, homosexual behavior is generally looked at being morally equivalent to traditional heterosexual behavior, or, at least, the feeling is those who practice homosexual behavior should be left alone to do as they please. 

So, why does the Church teach that marriage is only between one man and one woman?  Well, to put it simply, she does not accept same sex marriage because she teaches homosexual acts are sinful.  Those who are in a same sex marriage are put in a position where the temptation is strong to perform such acts constantly.  Two men living together or two women living together who are attracted to each other will be tempted strongly to do those acts over and over again, and put their salvation in jeopardy.

So, the real question is not so much why the Church does not support "same sex marriage", but rather, why does she teach that homosexual acts are sinful?  Once we understand that, we can better understand why the Church teaches against same sex marriage. Let's consider a few things.  (Before we go any further, please be warned some of the material below is for mature audiences only.)

1) The homosexual act goes against the natural law. 

By the inner conscience of man, and the visible world of creation, man can come to know certain truths. We hinted at this when we discussed ways of coming to know God in a post earlier this year.  By those same powers of conscience and simple observation, one can see and feel that there is a fundamental ontological difference and meaning between sexual intercourse between a man and a woman and all other forms of sex.  Only one type of sexual activity corresponds with the parts of natural human anatomy and physiology that have been designed for sex.  That activity is sexual intercourse between a man and a woman that involves the penis and the vagina.

Consider the alternative forms of sex that a person must use if he or she is trying to have sexual relations with someone from their own gender.  Anal sex is one frequently used.  However, the rectum is clearly not designed for sexual pleasure as is the vagina.  The tissues in the anus, unlike those in a vagina, do not provide natural lubrication. It is painful without artificial lubrication. It is a high risk sexual practice.  It does not generally produce arousal.

Oral sex is another form frequently practiced. It involves the penis or the vagina, but not both.  Therefore, with oral sex, generally only one partner can get aroused.  In other words, one person is being used for another person's fulfillment. 

Finally, there are various forms of non-penetrative sex, which again, can create pleasure, but in no way brings two people together like it can in natural sexual intercourse.  Because it cannot do so, it lacks the meaning, and potential for fulfillment that natural sexual intercourse has. 

At the end, in all types of homosexual acts, there is nothing that is mutually shared between the two persons, no bonding, no unity.  In these acts, one person is using another person's body to get something for him or herself.  The pleasure is forced, not natural as it is in intercourse. The persons involved may not admit that using another is what is going on, and/or probably do not intend to do so, but it is the reality nonetheless. The only type of sex in which there is mutual giving and mutual receiving is natural sexual intercouse.  All other sex, to be blunt, is selfish, and it is also dangerous because it involves using body parts that are not designed for sexual behavior.

2) The homosexual act is not open to the gift of life. 

Besides the pleasure associated with the sexual act, which serves to foster intimacy and union, the sexual act is a way of cooperating with God the Creator.  Neither anal sex nor oral sex nor any form of non-penetrative sex can produce a new life.  There is no possibility of lasting fruit with any of them.

So, because homosexual acts are ultimately selfish (even if those who practice do not realize it, or intend it to be selfish), dangerous, and not open to life, the Church teaches that these acts are morally wrong, and those who engage in them must repent, lest their salvation be in jeopardy.  "Same sex marriage", by it's nature and meaning, celebrates these sinful acts, and therefore, cannot and will not ever be approved by the Church.

A few points, however, are now in order.

1)  As with the other two sins we discussed in this series (contraception and abortion), despite the seriousness of these sins of homosexual sex, there is mercy and forgiveness available from Jesus Christ in the Sacrament of Reconciliation for those who have practiced them.

2) Furthermore, the Church teaches that we must treat people who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies with compassion and respect.  I will quote paragraph 2358 of the Catechism in its entirety:

The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

3) There is hope for those who have these deep seated homosexual tendencies.  There is compelling evidence that no one is "born" this way.  Through the Sacraments, prayer, counseling, and disinterested friendship, people who suffer with these tendencies can experience the healing and freedom that comes with a life in Christ, be able to practice self-mastery, and may even be able to enter into a new life that includes the practice of sexual behavior that is satisfying, fruitful, and serves the common good.

If anyone is interested in reading Scripture passages that testify to God's view of homosexual behavior, and therefore the Church teaching against it, see the following:

Genesis 18: 16- 19:29 (the story of Sodom and Gamorrah)

Romans 1:24-27

Another word for homosexual behavior in Christian tradition is "sodomy" (named after the aforementioned city of Sodom).   One who practiced sodomy in the times of the Bible was called a "sodomite" and references to them can be found in 1 Corinthians 6:10 and 1 Timothy 1:10.

This has probably been the most difficult post in this blog's history to write because it is such a sensitive topic, and there are readers of this blog who practice homosexual behavior, and/or have friends and/or loved ones people who do.   This blog, as does the Church, truly strives to love every man, and every woman.  However, true love includes telling ourselves and those we care about when we are doing things that put our/their salvation in jeopardy, and engaging in homosexual acts is one such thing that can do just that. 

We referenced self-mastery above.  Part of the virtue of chastity is indeed self-mastery, a governing of our sexual passions.  All persons, including those who have homosexual tendencies, are called to chastity.  Any of us, when tempted with any sexual sin, can turn to Saint Joseph.

 

Remember, O most chaste spouse of the Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who implored your help and sought your intercession were left unassisted.
 Full of confidence in your power I fly unto you and beg your protection.
 Despise not O Guardian of the Redeemer my humble supplication, but in your bounty, hear and answer me. Amen.

Joseph, most chaste, pray for us.

In our next post, we will discuss other sexual sins.